FIRST PARAGRAPH ASSIGNMENT
"WHY AM I TAKING AN INTERNET COURSE?"

This is an example taken from one of the students who wrote her paragraph on why she was taking an Internet course.  Read my comments, then read through what she has written.

Nice work.  There's a difference between legitimate errors and typos.  Generally, the way you tell is by looking at the pattern of errors.  If you make a mistake once and never repeat it, that means it's probably a typo.  If you make it often, that's an error that needs to be worked on.  If you've ever received a paper back with fifty or more circles in red, you might think that your writing sucks.  What is more likely, however, is that you made the same mistake a dozen times.  What looks like 12 comma errors is really only one, done over and over again.  That being the case, if we can train you to recognize only one of those errors and self-correct it, your writing will improve 12 fold.  See how that works.  Now, here's the problem: most of your legitimate errors are habitual.  They'll take three times as long to unlearn as to learn.  This semester, we'll give it a start.  I'll teach you how to recognize your own mistakes, but working through them will be something that will take you years of practice.  That's a good thing, though, because you still have years left to go.

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     Tlhe [typo] reason I take [verb error--I am taking--use a progressive form--there are 12 different  verb forms in the active voice in English for each verb--past tense: I took, I was taking, I had taken, I had been taking...present tense: I take, I am taking, I have taken, I have been taking...future tense: I will take, I will be taking, I will have taken, I will have been taken...go ahead and see if you can apply this to other verbs--the first five that come off the top of your head--once you get the pattern down, you'll be able to decide which of the twelve types to use in any situation] this class is because I want to further my edcuation [education] on commas, verbs, nouns, adjatives[adjectives], [good comma placement] and I want to learn the proper form for an essay.  Actually [insert a comma before and after interruptive phrases] to tell you the truth, I was just told I had to take this because my grammar skills are not at the top of the list.  I have a good essay format [you need a comma here--above, where I wrote 'good comma placement,' indicates that two independent clauses are joined by a coordinating conjunction--here, you have the exact same type of structure, only your conjunction is 'but' instead of 'and'] but my grammar and editing skills are not at the level they should be, [replace this comma with a period to avoid a run-on] considering I read alot [a lot is two words, not one--insert a comma here] I shouldn't have that much [of a] problem [insert a comma, same reason as above] but I do so I [I do so hope?] hope to achieve the goal of perfect grammar before the end of the semester. [keep dreaming--I've been studying grammar for over 20 years and there's always something new to learn]
 
One of the things we're going to work on is the difference between colloquial expressions of English and modern standard academic expressions of English.  The first has to do with the way we talk in social settings.  The second has to do with the way we write professionally.  Whenever you write a colloquialism (i.e. something you'd say socially, like "he be trippin'," I'll point it out and so you how to reword it into modern standard.  Fortunately, you've only got a couple of dozen different colloquial patterns running through you that will manifest themselves a hundred different ways.  If you learn one pattern, you'll save yourself a dozen.  One example: "I would of done that" is incorrect English, as is "I should of done that," or "I could of done that."  We write "could of," "would of," and "should of" because we're used to hearing that.  Actually, the expression is a contraction of "could have," "would have," and "should have," which we contract to "would've," "could've," and "should've".  When we say that often enough, it sounds like "would of," "could of," and "should of," and so that's what we write.  Interesting, huh?
 
Okay, work on your assignments for this week.  Post your next journal by Friday.  Check the bulletin board for updates on the first assignment.  I'm going to post a format sometime soon.

When I realized that St Charles Community College was offering courses over the Internet, I was astownded [astounded]. This was perfect [insert a comma] especially because this would give me a chance to further my education at home on my free time. Fresh out of a developmental computer course, the class also gives me a chance to learn more about the net through Internet chats, as well as composing journals and articles. Given my work scheduling, English 096 on the net will hopefully pave the way for more interesting experiences in the future!

The reason that I entered an internet course is because I thought that it would work around my schedual [schedule] a lot easier than a normal class.   I am also taking a few night classes and working full time.  I figured that I could save some time and work at the pace that I want to this way.  I also think that I can better develop my computer skills while taking an internet class.  I like the way the class is going so far.

I took this class to do something different.  To have a change of pace [fragment].  Plus [insert a comma--it's awkward to start a sentence with plus]]it was suggested to me by the head of the english [capitalize] department, Karen Jones.  I have taken Dev. writing II [capitalize 'writing' since it's a part of the title] twice before and [delete the word 'and'] because of conflict with teachers and the final paper that the english [capitalize] department reads and then decides weather [whether] you, as a student, move on to 101.  [develop this...what happened with the final paper?]I really think I will do well in this environment and plan to take more classes via the internet in semesters to come.

The reason I chose to take an internet course is for the convenience. As a person taking ten credit hours on campus, as well as a video course in U.S. History to 1877, I find it very beneficial. I not only think of it as a way of making my schedule a little easier, but I also take advantage of the computer practice I feel I am receiving from it. I think this type of course is great for anyone with a busy schedule. I hope it is something that the colleges will continue to offer well into the future. I would highly recommend [an Internet] internet course to anyone who agrees that a busy lifestyle should not keep a person from getting a good education.

Well, I would have probably took the Internet course sooner [insert a comma] but I was afraid [insert a comma] thinking it would be to hard.  Since I got my computer [insert a comma] I always wanted to be on it more [insert a comma] but [I] just basically wrote reports and never explore[d] to[o] far [insert a comma] thinking I would damage something.  I did see this course but chose at first to take the class and cope [opt?] out of the Internet course.  I really did not have a choice if I was to continue with 096 by taking the Internet on since I was to have surgery and would be at home and could not make in [it, not in] to classes [insert a comma] and I did not want to drop the course.  So here I am doing what I was afraid [of] trying anyway.  So far [insert a comma] I am still learning how to get around to certain things [insert a comma] but we have a great instructor and group that will help if I need it.

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