Meramec Baseball
Tag Criswell

Meramec baseball has a long history of winning records and successful seasons.  Meramec's baseball program is one of the most well-known and respected programs in all of Junior Colleges in Missouri. [what makes it so?  give me a little background history on it--enough so that when I hit your thesis, I know what you're talking about]  It is important that this baseball program stays [stay, not stays--use subjunctive mood] strong and successful, otherwise it might lose its support from the community.

The first factor that goes into keeping the winning tradition at Meramec is the team's discipline.  The team's discipline includes both work ethic and conditioning. [if you're going to break up these two body paragraphs you've already sent into conditioning and ethic, then I want you to combine these first two sentences with your focus on defining what conditioning means to discipline] Conditioning involves building strength and stamina.  What Meramec does to build stamina is mostly running, both long distance jogs, [lose the comma here] and short sprints.  The team's strength comes from hard workouts in the weight room.  The workouts usually consist of a lot of light lifting, with many repititions [repetitions].  By lifting light, the players build good muscle tone, and still maintain flexibility. [develop this idea of conditioning a little more--what you're talking about is physical conditioning...is there any mental conditioning that goes into it?  if so, develop your thoughts on that--bring closure by telling me why this idea of conditioning is important to your thesis]

The other factor that goes into the team's discipline is developing a team work ethic. [rework this sentence by combining these first two sentences into one sentence in half the words--start out with the value a solid work ethic has to the idea of conditioning] work ethic involves having a strict work schedule, which we do have here at Meramec. Our strict work schedule is only effective because of our work ethic, which means that we get down to business in practice, and are always trying to make ourselves better. [what's that mean, get down to business in practice?  you mean, on the field? or in the classroom?  develop this idea considerably--show me what it is you do--bring closure by telling me the importance of this idea of work ethic to the thesis]

body 3 [here, you might hit academic importance to the sport]

Body 4 [here, you might hit attendance and participation in class]

Body 5 [here, you might hit juggling class and work schedules with your training schedule

Body 6 you think of another idea that would help complement your thesis

Conclusion [bring closure by showing me the impact this issue has on the SLCC system]