St. Louis Heroes
Jenny Dyche

Jenny, your paper is incomplete.  Send the rest of the paragraphs for evaluation.

If you [avoid use of second person] were to hold a conversation with someone on st.Louis [St. Louis] sports you [avoid use of second person] could not have it without talking about Jack Buck.  He is a legend to St. Louis Broadcasting [lower case] history. [if this paper is about Jack Buck, then I need some background information on the man--give me some information concerning his history as a broadcaster and his history with St. Louis--if this is about local heroes in general, give me some background on that and don't introduce Jack Buck until a body paragraph] Jack has helped put St. Louis on the map with his charm and winning personality. [what is the point or purpose of this essay?  develop a strong thesis statement that each of your body paragraphs can support]