In all sports alcohal has always been there.  People drink and watch the game.  Many of them get caried away with it.  At the game they are more wound up.  They creem and yell at the player to try to incerage them to win.  Some times they go to far and get in to fights with other fans or the other teams fans.  The drinking at the games need to be more carefully >watched so no one gets hert.  Some people end up falling down the stares
and herting them selfs.  It doesn't even stop at the end of the game.  People often drive home after they have had to much to drink and get into accidents killing them selves and others.  The people need to be more carefull when they drink during sporting events.

[you might switch this to one on the St. Louis Blues--this idea of alcohol doesn't really support the direction you seem to want to take this]

[The] St. Louis Rams, [omit the comma here] have made a tramindous [tremendous] comeback in the last five years. The Rams went from having only six wins last year, to making it all the way to the superbowl [Superbowl] this year. [when you say they have had a tremendous comeback in the last five years, you need to follow up on their scores over that period of time--have they been a really bad team all along?  was last year their only year to have a slump?  how many games are played in a season?  what's the percentage on those six wins to losses?  are there 20 games in a year, for instance?  discuss this slump--what were some of the causes?  give me some background behind the Rams, too...how long have we owned the Rams?  under what circumstances were they purchased?  from whom?  what did we have to do in St. Louis in order to bring them here?  did we have to build a stadium, charge an additional tax, etc.?  it's important that you establish the commitment that St. Louis has to the Rams in their having come] On Sunday [insert a comma here] January 30, 2000 [insert a comma here] [the] St. Louis Rams braught [brought] home the gold. The fans cheard [cheered] as Izick [is this how his name is spelled, or is it Isaac?] Bruce made the final touch down in the fourth quarder. [quarter] This was the biggest victory for St. Louis this year. What a great way to start out the new Millenium![millennium] The Rams said "gotta go to work" and they did. [move this to earlier in the paragraph--bring closure to this paragraph with a sentence that tells me the importance of this idea of making a comeback to the main idea you propose in your thesis]

Last year the St. Louis Cardinals were very well known. [sure they were, but you need to introduce who the Cardinals are as a team, first]  It was not so much of how great out [our] team was playing [insert a comma] tough [though]. It was because of one of our magnifficent [magnificent] baseball players, Mark Magier [look up the spelling of his name].  He was on his way [you mean, he actually did it--not just on his way--talk about the impact of that race between him and Sosa--was it that race that gave his drive to hit 70 homeruns all the popular support, or was it the fact that he was merely going to break the record and glorify St. Louis in the doing of that?] to making a bew [new] world recordss,  [record] [develop this idea--how have the Cardinals fared in the past several decades?  were they in a slump that needed Big Mac to pull them out?  when was the last time the Cardinals won the pennant?  the World Series?  bring closure by telling me the importance of the Cardinals to your thesis]

St.Louis sports have been playing very well. They have made many goals for their teams, and hope to acheve them. They have acheved many of their goals resently. Their dreams are finally starting to come true. This will >hopefully incurage them to continue on acheving their goals, and make a better team for them selves and the fans. economy 

[here, you don't want to talk about vague goals--be specific, bring in another sports team--take basketball, for example--St. Louis does not have an NBA team, but we do have the SLU Billikens--to what extent do the Billikens serve the role of a municipal team in the absence of a real one?  is St. Louis likely to get a municipal team anytime soon?  under what circumstances?  how likely are we to welcome such a team?  in the same way we welcomed the Rams, or the Blues?  bring closure by telling me the importance of this idea to the thesis]

St. louise [Louis] has never had a perfetional [professional?] basketball team before [ever?].  That doesn't [no contractions] mean St. Louis wont [no contractions] get one.  Mrs. Walton [who?] is trying to get us a team write now.  Hopefully [insert a comma here] we will get one in the next few years.  [why hopefully?  what's in it for us?] Then St. Louis will have another team to chear [cheer] for.  It can only do us good, buy [by, not buy--reword this sentence, your syntax is awkward] bringing in more money to our city.  If we get a new team, we can coach then [them] into being an asome [awesome--what makes you think so?] team.  Maby [maybe] some day we can even make it to the NBA ternament. [spelling--what would be the significance of that?--bring closure by telling me why this idea is important to the thesis.]

[here--you want to find another sport that St. Louis has or doesn't have--you've already discussed, by this point, hockey, baseball, football, basketball, and soccer--maybe you could focus on volleyball or ice-skating...it doesn't matter that we don't have the team, just that the team would benefit us if we did have it...you can even point to some college team we do have, like the Billikens, that has to stand in for the municipal team we don't have--how would St. Louis receive another sport? that sort of thing]

[you pretty much already cover most of this in your intro paragraph--delete all but the last sentence of this paragraph and move that last sentence to the last sentence of the next paragraph--that'll provide decent closure for the paper] St.Louis sports have been playing very well.  They have made many goals for their teams, and hope to acheve them.  They have acheved many of their goals resently.  Their dreams are finally starting to come true.  This will hopefully incurage [encourage] them to continue on [lose this preposition] acheving [achieving] their goals, and [it will] make a better team [team?  in what sense?  we're talking about teams, not one team] for them selves [themselves is one word] and the fans. 

St. Louis sports has braught [brought] a lot of money into are [our] economy.  More people [how do you know?  what are your numbers on that?] are traveling here from all over the world to watch us play.  To see us make new records and victoreys.  [fragment] First with the blues hockey team being in the top five for the past two years.  Then with Mark Magier hitting his home runs.  Now the Rams winning the play offs.  [don't summarize the information from your body paragraphs in here--just focus on the impact this issue has on St. Louis] The money just keeps getting racked in year after year [how much?  what do you mean by racked in?  we pay a lot to keep these teams here--does what we earn offset what we pay?].  From money getting spent on hotels, people going to the games,  and the fans beying suviners.  [fragment] [buying souvenirs] This is bringing new jobs into St. Louis. [how many?  what kind of jobs? service jobs or product jobs?]  All of this has done wonders [what do you mean by wonders--do you mean that because our economy is up we have less crime and a greater sense of security?  is it sports alone that does this?] to are [our] economy.