Clean-Up
Stacie Mathi

In today's world there are many problems that we have to face.  One of them being pollution.  Pollution can be caused by many things.  Pollution will always affect the world unless we do something about it.  We can always help out in the enviroment by cleaning up the way we live and the resources we use.  Pollution can occur in the air , water, home, and in the types of energy we use.  We may not consider this a type of pollution, but noise pollution can occur throughout the world.  In order for us to solve these problems of pollution we need to work together to clean up and take care of ourselves and our enviroment.

Pollution in our water is a huge issue.  We bathe, swim, and even drink the water that is polluted.  Climate change, which leads to the increase stresson precipitation patterns, water, quantity, and water quality.  The transport of toxic chemicals and heavy metals can end up in our water system now a days.  The issues of water quality and availability is the number one issue around the world.  We need to watch what goes into our water system since water is an important part of everyday  The world needs to help one another by watching what you put in to the world's water supply.  We need to establish better ways of improving our water system so we can have a more effecient system of  purified water ...?

Did you know that each year in Ontario, Canada that 1,800 people die because of poor air quality and that the number of smog alerts has more than doubled since the summer of 1998 and that 60% children have asthma.  These are just a few reasons why we need to take better care of air.  We can take our part in helping clean our air out by the way we commute back and forth to work every week.  One way is to carpool.  Carpooling will not only take many cars off the rode, but it could safer for traffic reasons and save you alot of miles on your car.  Another way is to use public transportation to you around.  If you can't do either of these you could have a tune up on your car and inflate your tires regularly. 

Noise pollution isn't what most people would describe as pollution.  Noise is an unwatned sound.  Noise can come from many things like:  road traffic, jet planes, construction equipment, manufactoring process, lawn mower, or a loud stereo coming from the car or house next to you.  Some problems related to noise pollution is hearing loss, increase in stresss, high blood pressure, sleep loss, and distraction and lost of productivity.  We can be both the cause and the victim of pollution.  We can experience noise when in a busy shopping mall, but when in the privacy of you own home the effects of noise can be very limited.  Noise pollution will always be around us; we just have to be aware that others may not like it.

For many years we have been dumping materials into our oceans.  Materials for sea dumping comes in many ways.  Sea dumping is defined as any deliberate disposal of wates or other forms of vessels, aircrafts, or other man-made materials wasted into the seas.  We have developed an International Control of Sea Dumping, which has set up amendments to hep control the amount and what goes into the seas.  It has prohibited the dumping of mercury and plastics into our seas.  Some countries began to completely restrict the any material being dumped into our seas.  Many countries need to see that dumping wastes into our waters is killing animals and hurting us as well.  We need to find other ways to get rid of our wastes that we produce.

Litter is a great cause do to pollution.  People litter all the time.  People throw things outside their windows whe driving anywhere.  Litter can be found on the sides of the roads or highways.  Whether it's a piece of paper or a cigarette butt it's lying on the side of a road and probably won't get picked up.  When you go to a baseball game or parade downtown your chances of no litter is very slim.  People think it is O.K. to throw whatever trash they have on the ground.    Nowadays, people do their part and go out on the highways or roads and clean up the streets to make the world a better place to live.  Next time, anyone drives down the road  before they throw that piece of trash outside their window they need to think about how it will affect the earth.

Solar energy is another type of pollution.  Solar energy can cause people around the world to get skin cancer.  The UV rays from the sun can cause pollution from the sun.  Another type of solar energy is that we can use on our cars.  We have made solar cars which run from the sun's energy.  Using the sun as an energy source for our transportation can be positive on the earth because it can take away some of the pollution caused by our gas that we put into our car. 

In conclusion, pollution can affect the earth in many ways.  We all need to work as a team to keep in it great shape.  Pollution can hurt many things or people so we need to do all our parts to help clean up the earth and make it a safe and pollution-free enviroment.  Watching what  we dump into our oceans, how we use our energy, cleaning out our water system, and making the air cleaner to breathe in are just some pollution problems we need to take a closer look at.  In the end we can make it a better place to live.

Introduction

You might develop the background of when pollution first became a problem for us, or when we first noticed its being a problem. Your second sentence is a fragment. Try not to subordinate your intro paragraph to your associated ideas, which means, there's no point in your mapping them out here. Good thesis, but define what you mean by work together. Environment is spelled with an 'n'.

Body_1

Your second sentences lacks clear parallellism. Your third sentence is a fragment. What about climate change? How do these chemicals end up in the water system? How prevalent is the problem? Is it growing or dwindling? Regardless of how much we watch what we put into that water supply, stuff is still going to get in. What ought we to do to ensure that regardless of what goes in, we can always filter it out and repurify the water? How would you propose we do this? Is this paragraph unfinished?

Body_2

Reword the first sentence so that it's not a question. How efficient has carpooling proven to be? Give me some stats on that. Use public transportation to what? Avoid use of the second person "you" in academic papers--too informal. What does a tune-up and regular tire check do for a car? How is it helpful for accomplishing cleaner air? Bring closure to this paragraph by telling me its importance to supporting your thesis.

Body_3

In an age of rock 'n roll and walkman radios, how important is noise pollution to this generation? Is it less important than it was in the jam box age of the 1980s, or more? Develop your answer on this. Explore the psychology of the issue. Bring closure--how is noise pollution a significant part of environmental pollution? Ultimately, it doesn't affect the earth, but the earth's people.

Body_4

Give me some background on thie International Control of Sea Dumping agency--are there similar agencies in force to deal with the other types of pollution you've mentioned in this paper? What would you suggest we do with these wastes? Never end a paragraph on wistful hoping--bring closure by telling me the importance of this idea to the thesis.

Body_5

Clarify your intro sentence. How do you mean? Is litter a cause or an effect? How much of this trash is not biodegradable? What kind of agencies have been established to prevent littering? Do the fines imposed on littering have any effect? If so, how? If not, how? Are people really not thinking about the earth when they throw a cigarette butt out the window? How would you make people more environmentally conscious in this regard?

Body_6

Solar energy is a pollutant? You'll have to help me out a little more on this one. You might develop it along the idea of the hole in the ozone layer due to air pollution. Without a strong ozone, there are no filters to check the entrance of harmful UV rays. If we can use this energy, though, for us, as much as it is used against us, can it really be considered a harmful pollutant? It's outside the categories you've previously listed of pollutants that do nothing but harm. Bring closure by telling me the importance of this idea to your thesis.

Conclusion

Don't summarize all your associated ideas in your conclusion. Just bring closure by telling me the impact of pollution on society. Your last sentence should tell me why the thesis is important.