The Forest Park Restoration Plan [insert a comma] also called "Forest Park Forever [insert a comma]" is the plan were [whereby] the city of St. Louis is working to restore Forest Park to the way is [it] was during the World's Fair in 1904 [is there a hyperlink for this?].  [develop this part a bit--what was the World's Fair?  what did it seek to accomplish?   how did it become the pivotal event around which St. Louis came to identify itself?] This plan began over two years ago and was adopted by the City of St. Louis in 1995. [clarify your coordinating conjunction--"Adopted by the City of St. Louis in 1995, this plan finally went into action just a little over two years ago," or something like that.]   Forest Park itself has been around since 1876, [comma splice] the park covers "1,371 acres of land west of downtown St. Louis" (Saint Louis Front Page) [put this at the beginning of the sentence, "According to the St. Louis Front Page,... and create a hyperlink to that page if the above two hyperlinks don't already cover it].  Today the park holds the St. Louis Zoo, The Art Museum, The Muny and more Historical sites. [no need to list all your associated ideas in the intro here--just state that it holds the legacy of the World's Fair and that that legacy is still accessible today, one hundred years later] By the year 2004 [insert a comma] the city of St. Louis would like to have the park restored to the beautiful and peace[ful] place it was.

A part of this major plan is to restore the Grand Basin [insert a comma] the centerpiece of the renovation plan.  The Grand Basin, located at the bottom of Art Hill [is there a hyperlink for either of these?], was the centerpiece of the 1904 World's Fair.  All the buildings and attractions of the World's Fair was [were] built around this body of water.  Still today it is [awkward, "It is still..."] the setting for various community celebrations. [such as?  is it the city that leases it out, or a private agency?  who would I contact if I wanted to have a wedding there?] Today, the walls of the basin are crumbling, and the fountains and landscaping are long gone.  This plan includes fixing the crumbling walls, restoring the fountains and the landscaping, and installing new benches, lighting, and [a] promenade [, all of]which will surround the Grand Basin.  [how much will all this cost?] This part of the project also includes reconnecting the lakes and lagoons, creating a flowing river, which [river that] will run from the Cascades to Jefferson Lake, roughly from the western edge of the park to the eastern edge.  By restoring the river [insert a comma] they [who?] say it will stop some of the flooding and bring wildlife, mainly birds, back to the park.  This flowing river will run along the walking paths in a "passive open space" [clarify 'passive open space'--give me an appositive phrase that helps define it] connecting park attractions. [what's the cost and how will it be paid?] Connecting the lakes and lagoons will then create an ecological park like it was back in 1904 during the World's Fair.[strengthen this concluding sentence to take us back to the Grand Basin (from the lakes and lagoons of which it is a part) and tell me why the restoration of this piece in particular is important to the complete restoration of the park--how important, basically, is the Grand Basin?]

The St. Louis Art Museum [is there a hyperlink for this?] is one of Forest Park's many attractions [don't be vague--what is it exactly?--start with that].  This building was originally built as the Fine Arts Palace of the 1904 World's Fair. [you might link these first two sentences in about 2/3rds the words] Today [insert a comma] it holds many wonderful art exhibits from many different cultures. [develop its function a bit--it doesn't just hold them, it loans out its own collection and receives on loan the collections of other museums--it creates exhibits by borrowing from a number of museums items constituting a particular motif]  For the year 2004 [insert a comma] the St. Louis Art Museum would like to make some changes as well.  The Museum would like to lease 4 acres of the land on Art Hill to expand and renovate the building.  Many people do not want this to happen because they do not want the green land to be taken away.  So, the Art museum had another idea, except it was a much bigger and more expensive one.  That was to build a garage underground to put cars in, instead of building an above ground lot.   [who would pay for this?  the city (ultimately, the taxpayers) or the people who use the lot?  currently, parking is free--would it cost us to park if this plan is put into effect?] This expansion would give the Museum more space for exhibiting art and up to 575 underground parking spaces.  [would they have to close during the renovation period?  for how long?] The renovation of the building would include fixing the main building where there would not be any chance of major damage if an earthquake was [were, use subjunctive] to hit St. Louis. According to a study done in 1993, on the building that was constructed in 1904, [awkward syntax..."According to a 1993 study on the 89-year-old building, ...] found that it was extremely vulnerable to earthquake damage because of its age, its masonry construction and the fact it was built on fill.  [have there been no major earthquakes in the last 89 years?  or has it just been strong enough to weather the ones we had?  what about the potential for flood damage?  in 1993, did the flood waters rise high enough to threaten it?] The renovation and expansion would attract more people and bring some life back into the park.[sure it would, but why the Art Museum specifically?  why would renovation of the Art Museum in the way you've outlined suddenly increase interest in art?  bring closure by answering that]

The Jewel Box [is there a hyperlink for this?] is another of Forest Park's many attractions [introduce this idea by telling what it is, first--reorganize these intro sentences..."The Jewel Box is an Art Deco-style..."].  Developed by William Becker, this building has delighted visitors since 1936.  It is an Art Deco-style Conservatory, is surrounded by rose gardens, lily ponds, statuary and monuments, and season floral displays. [when you say "conservatory," do you mean a music conservatory where people can get private lessons or listen to concerts?  clarify--what goes on there, and how often?] The plan to renovate this building includes fixing the deteriorating building [superstructure, not building].  Planting new gardens and improving 14 acres surrounding the Jewel Box. [fragment] There will also be a small building constructed behind it for public receptions and classes, and [lose the 'and'] along with a ticket and gift shop pavilion.  Renovating a small greenhouse complex that supplies flowers and plants for the Jewel Box and other areas throughout the city is another part of this plan [where is that in relation to the Jewel Box?  would this renovation enable the greenhouse to produce enough flowers for public sale as well as private use?  what's the cost and how will it be paid?].  Renovating the Jewel Box will help bring the park back to life with new plants and flowers to make everyone feel as if they were back in 1904 when they had all of those beautiful flowers around. [we still have beautiful flowers around--it wasn't just a centennial phenomenon was it?  how important is the Jewel Box to Forest Park?   how will these renovations attract people who haven't ever been before?  bring closure by answering that]



The St. Louis Zoo [is there a hyperlink for this?] is another major attraction of Forest Park, which is the home to over 6,000 animals. [better intro]  [move the "In 1913," to here] The City of St. Louis set aside 77 acres, in 1913, in order to build this zoo. [so, it was not originally part of the 1904 World's Fair...what prompted them to build the zoo?  did they have anything left over from the World's Fair that they put on exhibit inside the zoo?] In 1941, the Chimpanzee Arena was completed and in 1964 the famous Zoo Line Railroad began operating.  Today [insert a comma] the Arena and the Railroad are still in operation.  The Zoo's plan for the year 2004 includes building a River's Edge exhibit [where would they put that?] that would provide a new home for elephants, rhinoceroses, crocodiles, and birds. They also want to renovate and expand the Children's Zoo and include an insectarium [find a hyperlink for an insectarium to give your readers a feel for what it is--something larger than an ant farm, for instance] in the Children's Zoo.  They also want to construct a Fragile Forest area for members of the ape family, which would give the apes a bigger area to room [in which to roam] and [which would feel more like home to them] feel more like home.  [how much is all this going to cost?  will they pay for it through taxes or through charging an admission price (which we don't currently have)?] This project would make the zoo bigger and better for the animals and attract more visitors to St. Louis’ Forest Park. [again, bring closure by telling me how important this zoo is to Forest Park...how are the renovations going to attract people to the zoo who have never been, and increase the attendance of those who go often?  bring closure by telling me that]



The Jefferson Memorial [is there a hyperlink to any of these?], home of the History Museum and the Missouri Historical Society, is full of historical exhibits of Forest park and Historical St. Louis.  This building was built in 1913 as the first memorial building to honor Thomas Jefferson, [what did the year 1913 commemorate?  the centennial of his death?] and was funded with proceeds from the 1904 Louisiana Purchase Exposition and remaining funds from the 1904 World's Fair.  The Museum has many different exhibits, including displays of the World's Fair, early settlers [the original settlers, or pictures of them?], the Charles Lindberg [sp?] Trophies, and the history and founding of St. Louis.  The Missouri Society plan for 2004 is to renovate its 1913 Jefferson Memorial Building and to build onto the rear of the building.  This addition will give the Museum more than 25,000 square feet of new exhibit space and a 400[insert a hyphen]seat auditorium.  There will also be more room for education programs and meetings.  [so they'll be able to advertise more and draw more business?  who will pay for the costs?  the future potential profits, or the present taxpayers?] They will also expand the Museum shop and add a restaurant to make it more enjoyable for the visitors.  By completing this plan [insert a comma] it will allow the Museum to interact with its visitors more and bring back the feeling of enjoyment that the people from the World's Fair felt. [that's sort of a shady assertion, considering we don't know how the people of the World's Fair felt, nor are we entirely certain we ever lost that feeling--bring closure by telling me why this renovation is important to the scheme of Forest Park--how will this renovation in particular actually attract the people who don't currently enjoy the Memorial into the rest of Forest Park? you've already answered that question in part--bring closure]



In 1919 [insert a comma] the world's oldest and largest outdoor theater in the world opened.  This theater, called The Muny [is there a hyperlink to this?], holds 12,000 seats [awkward syntax--combine these first two sentences into one sentence in about half the words] which people come to sit to watch many Broadway shows.  [develop this idea of Broadway shows...give me some examples...how many does it play a year?  does it do anything besides Broadway shows?] The Muny which has been through many troubling times [for example?] is still going strong today.  Even though it needs work there are many people who still go and watch plays being performed there.  The directors of the Muny would like to renovate [the] 76[insert a hyphen]year-old amphitheater for the [year] 2004.  They would like to expand the concession and restroom areas, which would provide more room for the people who come to watch the plays.   They would also replace the concrete backstage wings, the auditorium floor and seats and repair the revolving wooden stage, the limestone and concrete pergolas and landscape. [how much will all this cost?   who will pay? the taxpayers, or the ticket purchasers?] By doing this they hope to please more of their customers and help draw more people to St. Louis. [you've ended all your paragraphs pretty much the same way...strengthen these closures a bit--in this case, how will renovation of the Muny in particular draw more people to Forest Park in general?  how will it attract people who have never been there before?]



This project which is called Forest Park Forever involves many different projects that everyone involved would like to see completed by the year 2004.
 By completing this project [Through successful completion of their goals, ... not by completing this project] the directors of the project hope to bring more people to St. Louis and hope to bring life back to Forest Park and keep it there. [what would be the impact of this project on St. Louis society?  on the way St. Louis is viewed by its citizens, and by the citizens of other cities?] Many people would agree that this is a good idea.[lose this sentence--irrelevant]  Bring[ing] the spirit of the 1904 World's Fair here in[back to, not here in] St. Louis is just the best way to celebrated[lose the 'd'] the anniversary of Forest Park and the 1904 World's Fair.