Y2K
David Kuda
Interesting intro sentence, but you might want to begin the paper by telling me what exactly Y2K means in context with the hype. Then, give some background information concerning the movement of the past few years to make everything ready for the millennial shift from '99 to '00. You might talk about how the computer programmers of the 1950s thought that the systems would be simply replaced or updated by the turn of the millennium. Then, replace your thesis with that first sentence of yours that states your position on this.
This paragraph could benefit from some editing. Develop this idea of their being a secluded, unimportant area in computer technology, especially in light of the fact that all the computers are hooked up to a central web. If something goes wrong in a parts factory in Washington State, won't that affect the companies it supplies and whatever computer generated parts those companies purchased from that factory? Phallic technology? I doubt that'll have a Y2k bug. Don't end the paragraph in a transition. Conclude by telling me the significance of this panic to the thesis. Refocus this paragraph on the fact that even if nothing happens with the computers, the larger problem lies in the panic that all this hype has generated. What is that growing sense of panic doing to this country?
This hardship you mention in your last sentence wasn't in the first two decades, but in the fourth--1930s. You've done a pretty good job developing the idea of how companies are readying themselves--tell me a little about how confident they are. How prepared are they against these failures you mention?
Should the idea of Soviet nuclear technology having been sold off to other countries be a comforting one? Don't take pot shots at the U. S. when discussing a topic unrelated to its 'pretensions'. Develop this idea of a stock market crash--how likely (unlikely) is it? Bring closure to this idea of a millennium 'bomb' by telling me its significance to the thesis--if the U. S. is fixing it, might it still be a concern?
Clarify this generational gap you've opened here. What does that have to do with scam artists? What do you mean about how liberal people in future generations? Tie all these disjointed ideas together with tighter transitional phrases. Bring closure by telling me the significance of general fatigue concerning this issue to your thesis that it's all a bunch of hype.
Tighten this fear of conspiracy up a little--clarify what you mean by saying that Y2K could be used to justify any government mix-up--how plausible is that idea? Would it have to be a government conspiracy? Do you not perceive a danger in the computers flipping over to '00 instead of 2000? Is it possible that computer technicians who did perceive this danger brought the problem to light in time to avert it? Don't get side-tracked by diving into conspiracy theories of your own or by drawing unfair comparisons with minority groups which do not relate specifically to the idea upon which you are focusing. Has the government really 'used' Y2k at all? Most of the hype I've heard has come not from the government, but from private organizations.
Tighten up the direction of this paragraph--the focus of it seems to be on the celebrations, but you digress in a few areas.
This is a good conclusion as it states what impact this issue will have on society--but, right now, what is the impact of this issue? What has it done to the globe? Has it brought us closer together as a planet as we struggle madly to fix all of our computers? or has it raised tensions between us?