Nick Brown Synthesis

The Evolution of the English Language
Nick Brown

Like any other language, English has changed many hundreds of times throughout the years. Over these years, there have been many different influences that have affected the English dialect. The English that was closest to ours was influenced by the Anglo-Saxons after they learned the Latin alphabet; [influenced by or initiated by? there's a difference] where they learned the rules of how the different things sounded [as this isn't an independent clause, you have to lose the semicolon]. These rules are constantly changing due to new words being introduced, and from the many slang words [clarify, the slang changes the rules or is a result of rule change?] we use today. So as you [lose the coordinating conjunction and the second person] can see the English language will always be on the move. [clarify--how so 'on the move'? this is too vague a thesis to be much use to your paper]

The English language has been changing from the minute that is [it, not is] began. This was about 600 A.D. w[h]ere it got its first influence from the Germanic branch of the Indo-European Family that was spoken by the Anglo-Saxons who lived along the coast of Europe [there are too many clauses in this sentence--simplify it]. These were the Romans who were merchants [a comma always precedes a coordinating conjunction linking two independent clauses] so they had a lot of contact with other people. This is w[h]ere the incorporation of Latin had come into play; [a comma always precedes a coordinating conjunction linking two independent clauses] so the words that they used were widely used and some are still used today [eh? Latin was widely used as English? clarify]. Some of those word [the words, you mean] we still use today are wine, cheese, butter, and many others. In 866 [insert a comma] the Norsemen invaded England and eventfully [eventually] divided the country into northwest and southeast. English and Norse, at the time [insert a comma] were very similar to each other [a comma always precedes a coordinating conjunction linking two independent clauses] so it was fairly easy for them to communicate.    This is where word borrowing came into play. Some of these words are also used to such as sky, give, law, egg, and many others. In the beginning of the next century [insert a comma] the Normans established themselves into northern France, and [they] adopted their [the, not their] language and customs [of the native inhabitants]. The Normans later traveled across the English channel to England where they took over parts of the land . So there was a heavy influence of the French language being spoken. The main speakers of the French language were the rulers of the land [insert a comma] while the common people still spoke English. They also learned some French from everyone around them speaking it. So when they actually put a French word into a sentence it was considered to be classy or well bred. This is where some French words were introduced to the English language; words dealing with government, church, foods, colors, household words and many others [your second clause here is dependent, so it can't be preceded by a semicolon]. Such words are parliament, parson, beef, blue, chair, music, poet and many others. English changed once again into what we know as Shakespearean language [insert a comma] which is very close to our way of speaking, but still very hard to understand. This is because of the elimination of certain vowel sounds. This [all of it is called that?] is what we call the silent e. It is usually at the end of a word and is silent. Before this time the e was pronounced. To add to the vowel sounds [insert a comma] there was a shifting of vowels in words. These are words we use today except we pronounce in a different way. Words like mouse sounded like moose [insert a comma] and there are many others. Through out [Throughout is one word] all these changes there was [subject/verb disagreement--attempts/was should be attempts/were] many attempts to try to regulate the English language with very little success. This was around the time the first dictionary came about [insert a semicolon, or a comma and a 'which'] it was small compared to what we know of today. This [vague demonstrative pronoun--be more specific] is because of the ever changing language that we use everyday. [bring closure--how does this historical evolutionary process support your thesis?]

English is probably the most widely spoken language of the wor[l]d. So you [lose the coordinating conjunction and the second person] can imagine the confusion between the many different people speaking it. So they [who?] tried to come up with a system, [lose the comma here] to organize the way we write. This was the beginning of grammar usage and more use of the dictionary. This is still here today [insert a comma here] although there are many exceptions to the rules. So why have the rules[lose the coordinating conjunction and the question--reword into a statement that strengthens and advances your point]]; just think of how hard it would be to communicate if it was [use subjunctive mood in conditional sentences--were, not was] not for the rules. Although, if you [lose the second person here] are with your [lose the second person here] friends [insert a comma] nobody worries about these strict rules, [start a new sentence here] we may talk with slang and other colorful adjectives [are you saying that all of slang is adjectival? clarify--words like 'what up?' aren't adjectives, are they?]. As language went through many changes grammar also did [here's a good opportunity to clarify the difference you see between language and grammar--what is it?]. The way we talk may change over the years, but it's [lose the contraction] not the language that changes it, [put a dash here, rather than a comma] it is society that changes. [so, as society changes and evolves, it brings language with it? interesting closure--does that mean that language is a tool of society? does language never shape our culture, then, but is always shaped by it? develop that point]

There are changes in the English language even today in our country. It is usually spoken
in the inner cities. This is called black speech as the article [which article? by whom?] called it or as we call it now Ebonics. As said before[insert a comma] this is predominately spoken in the inner cities by black youths [if you've said it before two sentences ago, there's no need to say it again now]. Some people [who, for instance?] believe that this difference in speaking is laziness or carelessness. As stated in the article, this is not correct [quote what the article says]. This may not be considered laziness or carelessness[insert a semicolon] this may be inherited from their [whose?] ancestors. This is possibly why they [who?] have such a hard time understanding what we say and what we [who?] are trying to teach them [who?] in school [are you stereotyping all blacks, or all Ebonic speakers?]. The reason that they[who?] give is that they [who?] tend to "shorten"words or "leave out" letters, forming new words. Changing the English language ever[n, not r]more. An example of the way the word is said and written is: the sound of f is replaced by the th sound, like in birfday for the word birthday. Other words that this is done this[awkward syntax, clarify] is dis and tin for the words this and then, the th sound once again is changed. This is common among the people of the Carolina Sea Islands, that[who, not that--lose the comma]] speak a language called Gullah. As stated earlier[again, if it's stated earlier, you don't need to repeat it] they also omit the use of consonant sounds at the end of words. There are several words that [with which, not that] this is done; [replace the semicolon with a dash] words such as jus that mean just, sho that means sure[insert a comma] and many others. This is similar to Japanese, Italian and West African words that also end in as similar manner.[in what way? give me an example...if this isn't your idea, you need to cite your source] This is another way that the English language has changed in present day. [lame closure--tell me why this idea of continued change in our country is important to the thesis]

Language takes on many different meanings. This is the difference between the spoken word and the written word. The written word has no tone or dialect, but the spoken word has both of them. [good point] So when something is said you [lose the second person] know weather [whether] it is in anger or in a calming tone. Such words really depend on the way you [lose the second person] say it and who you [lose the second person] say is nigger [awkward syntax, clarify]. We were always taught not to say this because it [what?] was derogatory no matter what way you [lose the second person] say it. The article states that this is not necessarily true, [replace the comma with a semicolon] you [lose the second person] can use the word in many different ways. In the singular form, the word nigger means a man that [who, not that] has distinguished himself in some situation that brought their [whose?] approval. There is also another form of the word used by women that is her [pronoun/antecedent disagreement--her/women] term used for endearment for her husband or boyfriend. The last version is used for [as, not for] a derogatory comment or name for someone doing something ignorant [clarify your definition of ignorant--the traditional definition of the term does not fit in this context]. These words are strictly used for the men, there is another term that women use[lose this sentence, it is redundant with the sentence above] . The term that women use is girl. Like the word nigger [insert a comma] there are various meanings of the word. The biggest way that this word is used is by your [lose the second person] tone [insert a comma] not the use of it in a sentence. If you [lose the second person] say it slow[insert a comma or an 'and'] almost sarcastic [insert a comma] you [lose the second person] are joking around, but if you [lose the second person] say it quick almost to snap [awkward syntax] you [lose the second person] are showing your [lose the second person] disapproval. This just a few ways that the way you [lose the second person] say a word can affect someone. [lame closure--tell me why this idea of speech tone is important to the thesis]

In a[n] ever changing world, there are many different influences that have affected the English language. [don't subordinate this sentence to its associated ideas--just reintroduce the main idea of the paper] This is from all of the different cultures that live in the United States and all over the world. With the technology getting better everyday we find it easier to communicate with these many different people, languages, and cultures. By traveling and using the internet [capitalize] we get a chance to meet and talk to others giving us more chances to be influenced. Living in the United States a very good place to meet and learn to be bilingual [awkward syntax, clarify] or at least know what certain words mean, because of all the tourists and other cultured people [clarify this idea of cultured people--aren't all people 'cultured' in some way or other? do they necessarily have to be foreign? Focus here on the impact this idea has on society--on the melting pot/salad bowl of American society] moving and visiting the United States. With the use of English everywhere in the world maybe there will be a unified language someday. Until then don't [lose the contraction and the imperative--bring closure by telling me why the thesis is important] be surprised with all the changes in the English language.

                                   THE EVOLUTION OF ENGLISH
                                              Annotated Bibliography

Thesis Statement: Like any other language, English has changed many hundreds times of times
through out the tears [spelling].

Roberts, Paul. "A Brief History of English." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1994: 89-98

This article is about how the English language has developed from the various influences.

Crystal, David. "The Perspective Tradition." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul
Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St Martin's Press, 1994: 101-106

This article is about the grammar usage and how they [who?] tried to organize the way we try to write.

Seymour, Dorothy Z. "Black Children, Black Speech." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1994: 122-128

This article is about the difference between the way blacks and whites talk and say words.

Naylor, Gloria. "The Meaning of the Word." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul
Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St Martin's Press, 1994: 305-307

[annotation?]

REVISION: This is a good example of a really sloppy revision. [Not micro-edited] Grade: C

The Evolution of the English Language
Nick Brown

THE EVOLUTION OF ENGLISH
Annotated Bibliography

Thesis Statement: Like any other language, English has changed many hundreds times of times through out the years.

Roberts, Paul. "A Brief History of English." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1994: 89-98

This article is about how the English language has developed from the various influences.

Crystal, David. "The Perspective Tradition." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St Martin's Press, 1994: 101-106

This article is about the grammar usage and how they tried to organize the way we try to write.

Seymour, Dorothy Z. "Black Children, Black Speech." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin's Press, 1994: 122-128

This article is about the difference between the way blacks and whites talk and say words.

Naylor, Gloria. "The Meaning of the Word." Language Awareness. Ed. By Alfred Rosa, Paul Eschholz, Virginia Clark. New York: St Martin's Press, 1994: 305-307

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