The English Language
Nathan, this is really well organized, but it needs a bit of work in the development of your ideas and in the bringing of closure to each of the body paragraphs so that you show how each idea supports the thesis you're trying to prove. Use parenthetical documentation whenever you quote someone, and whenever you quote someone indirectly by reproducing one of that person's ideas. I look forward to reading your rewrite--follow my comments, but don't restrict yourself to them. Develop this paper beyond them.
Languages throughout the world have developed over time. The English language is definitely no exception to this. People who spoke what would become the English language lived along the northern coast of Europe. These were several different tribes and [', who collectively', not 'and'] spoke different languages. These tribes were the Angles, Saxons, and Jutes. Today we refer to them all as the Anglo-Saxons. The first records of English began after 600 A.D. when the Anglo-Saxons learned the Latin alphabet. As the language developed [insert a comma here] certain rules formed. [here--focus the entire paragraph on the prescriptivist philosophy, using that as background information to lead up to your thesis on the evolutionary, non-prescriptivist nature of language.] The rules were how certain letters sounded when put in different places or in what order to put certain letters. This became known as Standard English. In addition to Standard English [insert a comma here] there is also Black English. Black English is mostly spoken by Blacks and uses [a] shortened version of many Standard English words. It also replaces many characters in words, or in some cases takes them out altogether. Then there is the way spoken words are understood. Words or phases may have totally different meanings by the tone of voice or the context. The English language has come a long way and is constantly evolving. [This is a good introduction, but it seems that you've listed all of your associated ideas within your intro paragraph--since you're going to be discussing those ideas throughout the paper, it is redundant to put them as your background information--in fact, they are ideas that should support the thesis, so what I need is background info on the thesis before I can find associated ideas concerning it of any help.--rework this intro, then, to just give me some background information on the English language--then, make certain your associated ideas don't overlap that background info--so start in your first body paragraph with information that supports the point you made about the English language being forever evolving--which it does by explaining the evolutionary influences of other linguistic systems.]
English has a long history beginning around 600 A.D. Many English words we use today have come from other dialects[dialects or languages?] . [consolidate these first two sentences into one intro sentence that explains the topic of this paragraph--since you already mention the date in the first paragraph, you might omit that first sentence altogether] Latin is just one of these. Ever since the Anglo-Saxons learned the Latin alphabet the English language has been in development. Some words borrowed from Latin are cheese, butter, bishop, and kettle. The English language also has borrowed words from the Norsemen. Norse and English were similar and as a result people could, for the most part, understand each other. Examples of Norse words are sky, give, law, leg, and scowl. English also overcame French [careful, you mean after the Norman conquest? French was never the "native" language, but it did have a serious impact on the development of English--be more specific] as the native language and as a result English acquired new words. However, a person knowing both French and English they [lose the 'they'] may slip some French words and phrases in. Using French words and phrases when speaking English makes one sound more educated. English acquired many words from French dealing with government, church, foods, colors, play, household words, and many more. Examples are parliament, parson, beef, blue, chair, music, poet, and grammar. [bring closure--never end on a subpoint--why is this idea of linguistic influence important to helping prove your thesis?]
Sometime between the 15th and 17th centuries [insert a comma] the sounds of English changed. The elimination of vowel sounds was one change. For the most part this occurred at the end of certain words in unstressed positions. An example of this would be the e [put this e in quotation marks, or italicize it] in silent. Before the sound change [insert a comma] the e was pronounced, and after it was not[in 'silent? of course, it's still pronounced--clarify what you mean]. In addition to the elimination of vowel sounds there was the shifting of vowels in words. This happened in many words, for example mouse sounded like moose’[ditto, put all words that are being used to emphasis a point in quotes or italics, like "mouse" or moose. It doesn't matter which one you use, as long as you're consistent].[bring closure--never end on a subpoint--why is this idea of linguistic influence important to helping prove your thesis?]
English is a very widely spoken language. However, a person speaking English in America may not completely understand or be understood in England. American English, Australian English, British English, and Indian English are some different forms of English.[develop this idea of dialect variation beyond three sentences--how can the same language have evolved in ways that are foreign to each other?] Each form has its own slang and way of being spoken, so words may sound totally different from form to form. [bring closure--never end on a subpoint--why is this idea of variantdialects important to helping prove your thesis?]
Not only are there different forms of English, but there is more than one type of English. There is also Black English, spoken mostly by Blacks of lower education [so, are you agreeing with Seymour that Black English is a language in its own right, and not a dialect of the English language?]. The reason why this is such a problem is because their English is so different from Standard English that it makes learning in schools difficult. Schools use Standard English and those who are accustomed to Black English have difficulty reading, understanding, and being understood. Black English shortens or uses different letters than Standard English. For example Dorothy Z. Seymour used "dis" and "tin" for the words "this" and then". [page number? use parenthetical citations] There are also letter substitutions used within words. Seymour used /f/ instead of th. Instead of saying Ruth it would be Roof, or birthday would be birfday.[ditto, put all words that are being used to emphasis a point in quotes or italics, like "mouse" or moose. It doesn't matter which one you use, as long as you're consistent].[bring closure--never end on a subpoint--why is this idea of variant languages important to helping prove your thesis?]
Language is something you [lose the second person here] have to treat with care [this paragraph is about semantics, the meanings each word carries with it--introduce that idea by defining it, telling your reader what it is and why, then, it has to be treated with care]. The meaning of a word can differ by the way it is used. The people you [lose the second person here] are around, the tone of your [lose the second person here] voice, or even the time of day can make a word sound different. This is why we have to be careful of the way we speak. A good example is the word nigger. Being a white male it doesn’t [lose thecontraction here] really matter when, where, or who I am around [insert a semicolon here] if I use it, it just won’t [lose thecontraction here] sound good and could get me into trouble [why?]. However, for a Black individual to use the word, in most circumstances, it is understood as another word for a Black person and not found offensive. Another word Gloria Naylor used was girl. Just the way it sounds gives much meaning to the word. If you [lose the second person here] pronounce the word slower, like g-i-r-l, or snapping and quick, like girl, I [it, not I] can be interpreted as two different things. It will sound more joking or fun the slow way, as opposed to possibly sounding angry or offensive the quick way.[bring closure--never end on a subpoint--why is this idea of variant semantic meanings important to helping prove your thesis?]
The English language has come a long way. It will keep growing and evolving as long as there is human life. [develop the body of this concluding paragraph beyond one sentence--focus on the impact this evolutionary change in our language is going to have on society.] There will probably be more forms and types that are introduced somewhere in the world. [bring closure, not by repeating your thesis, but by telling me why that thesis is important--are we moving more toward a global language, or more toward the fragmentation and destruction of the English language?]
The English Language
[Put periods after all of your article titles inside the quotation marks. I also need the annotations, short blurbs that tell me what that source is about.]
Thesis Statement: The English language has come a long way and is constantly evolving.
Crystal, David "The Prescriptive Tradition" Language Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 101-106.
Naylor, Gloria "The Meanings of a Word" Language Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 305-307.
Roberts, Paul "The Brief History of English" Language Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 89-98.
Seymour, Dorothy Z. "Black Children, Black Speech" Language
Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 122-128.
REVISION: [Not Micro-Edited] Final Grade: B
The English Language
Languages throughout the world have developed over time. The English language is definitely no exception to this. People who spoke what would become the English language lived along the northern coast of Europe. These were several different tribes who spoke different languages. These tribes were the Angles, Saxons, and Jutes. Today we refer to them all as the Anglo-Saxons. The first records of English began after 600 A.D. when the Anglo-Saxons learned the Latin alphabet. As the language developed, certain rules formed. The rules were how certain letters sounded when put in different places or in what order to put certain letters. This became known as Standard English. In addition to Standard English, there is also Black English. Black English is mostly spoken by Blacks and uses a shortened version of many Standard English words. It also replaces many characters in words, or in some cases takes them out altogether. Then there is the way spoken words are understood. Words or phases may have totally different meanings by the tone of voice or the context. The English language has come a long way and is constantly evolving.
Many English words we use today have come from other languages. Latin is just one of these. Ever since the Anglo-Saxons learned the Latin alphabet the English language has been in development. Some words borrowed from Latin are cheese, butter, bishop, and kettle. The English language also has borrowed words from the Norsemen. Norse and English were similar and as a result people could, for the most part, understand each other. Examples of Norse words are sky, give, law, leg, and scowl. English beat out French as the native language and as a result English acquired new words. However, a person knowing both French and English may slip some French words and phrases in. Using French words and phrases when speaking English makes one sound more educated. English acquired many words from French dealing with government, church, foods, colors, play, household words, and many more. Examples are parliament, parson, beef, blue, chair, music, poet, and grammar. These are just a couple of examples of how the English language first got started.
Sometime between the 15th and 17th centuries, the sounds of English changed. The elimination of vowel sounds was one change. For the most part this occurred at the end of certain words in unstressed positions. An example of this would be the e in change. Before the sound change, the e was pronounced, and after it was not. In addition to the elimination of vowel sounds there was the shifting of vowels in words. This happened in many words, for example mouse sounded like moose’. Without these changes English sound much different from what it does today.
English is a very widely spoken language. However, a person speaking English in America may not completely understand or be understood in England. These may have happened due to the lack of communication. English developed in its own way in each place it was spoken. American English, Australian English, British English, and Indian English are some different forms of English. Each form has its own slang and way of being spoken, so words may sound totally different from form to form. This is the reason why today we have so many different dialects, and it is likely to continue.
Not only are there different forms of English, but there is more than one type of English. There is also Black English, spoken mostly by Blacks of lower education, this is another dialect of English. The reason why this is such a problem is because their English is so different from Standard English that it makes learning in schools difficult. Schools use Standard English and those who are accustomed to Black English have difficulty reading, understanding, and being understood. Black English shortens or uses different letters than Standard English. For example Dorothy Z. Seymour used dis and tin for the words this and then. (Seymour 123) There are also letter substitutions used within words. Seymour used f instead of th. Instead of saying Ruth it would be Roof, or birthday would be birfday. (Seymour 124) Nevertheless, these variations in dialect are necessary in order that people may adequately communicate thoughts and ideas.
Language is something that needs careful treatment. The meaning of a word can differ by the way it is used. The people, the tone of voice, or even the time of day can make a word sound different. This is why we have to be careful of the way we speak. A good example is the word nigger. Being a white male it does not really matter when, where, or who I am around; if I use it, it just will not sound good and could get me into trouble if it is not understood correctly. However, for a Black individual to use the word, in most circumstances, it is understood as another word for a Black person and not found offensive. Another word Gloria Naylor used was girl. Just the way it sounds gives much meaning to the word. If a word is pronounced slower, like g-i-r-l, or snapping and quick, like girl, it can be interpreted as two different things. It will sound more joking or fun the slow way, as opposed to possibly sounding angry or offensive the quick way. The way English is spoken today can have many different meanings and needs careful treatment.
The English language has come a long way. It will keep growing and evolving as long as there is human life. These changes in language will forever change the way people communicate with each other. There will be more dialects of English introduced somewhere in the world. These new dialects will influence all forms English as well as other languages forever.
Annotated Bibliography:
The English Language
Thesis Statement: The English language has come a long way and is constantly evolving.
1) Crystal, David "The Prescriptive Tradition." Language Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 101-106.
David Crystal describes how to control language.
2) Naylor, Gloria "The Meanings of a Word." Language Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 305-307.
Gloria Naylor describes how words can have different meanings depending the context.
3) Roberts, Paul "The Brief History of English." Language Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 89-98.
Paul Roberts tells about the history of English.
4) Seymour, Dorothy Z. "Black Children, Black Speech." Language Awareness. Ed by Paul Eschholz, Alfred Rosa, and Virginia Clark. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 1994: 122-128.
Dorothy Seymour describes Black English.