Language is Speaking
Cory Callovini 

Mr. Callovini, you have a good start here--you've definitely thought this out beyond the limitations of the articles you started with, but try to work more with the articles you've listed on your bibliography.]

Language, as a whole, is the vernacular of societies around the world. In these societies language is sometimes different and sometimes similar, depending on the cultural background. Most languages are built from origins of other languages throughout the world. People speak a different language in different countries, some even speak several languages. The English language, however, is one that is dominant across the globe. Even though languages set speaking standards for people, most of them earn [inherit, you mean] their speaking standards from their ancestors. [does this mean that dialects within a certain region cannot change and evolve over time?  what central thesis can your associated ideas help to prove?]

Language not only facilitates communication, it also ensures the continuity of different cultures. These languages are either spoken or written, which is a coded form of its cultural heritage. There is a hypothesis that states that people perceive the world in terms of symbols contained in their every day language. This idea is known as the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis [nice tag, but develop what that idea means if you introduce it at all--source?]. In addition, multi-lingual people can attest, a single idea may Afeel@ [eh?] different if spoken in one language rather than another [that's good--develop that point] . It may be relevant to say that this is why our language evolves from our families history [the history of our families].

When people grow up they learn how to speak the language that their parents had been taught; schools teach some, but are too irrelevant [in what way?]. People throughout the world most frequently speak the language that they inherit from their families [families, or kinsmen--both is redundant] kinsmen. Different cultural backgrounds speak different languages, [insert a semicolon, or a period here] in our culture we speak English [if you're going to delve into sociolinguistic theory, you need to clarify what you mean by culture]. Dialect is a frequent problem in the English language, [all these loaded terms--clarify 'problem'--break this sentence into two] take [lose the imperative] for example the Southern dialect. This is a dialect that is brought up through black families [the entire Southern dialect?--don't white people live below the Mason-Dixon line as well?], and is very hard for their children to overcome. APoor [lower case] grammar@ and Ashort jagged word@ [eh?--rework this line--does she define it as poor grammar? or different grammar, just as rich in its cultural heritage as regional white vernacular?] is how Dorothy Seymour defines the Southern dialect. Children raised in black families pick up bad [clarify--in what sense bad?] speaking habits from parent and peers from the inner city lifestyle[does the Naylor article fit in here at all?  changing semantics?]. This is a problem that has evolved throughout black families, and schools are having more and more trouble cracking [are these Southern schools taught by Southern bred teachers?  don't generalize the entire South--what about colloquial dialects in E. St. Louis, Harlem, or Oakland?] the Southern dialect. This is just one of the reasons speaking standards come from people[apostrophe]s family history. [lame closure--don't subordinate your concluding sentence to its associated ideas, or repeat the intro sentence--just tell me how this associated idea supports, or is significant to, the thesis.]

Southern dialect is not the only one, [insert a semicolon here] there are dialects all over the world today that are perceived [perceived?] from family member to family member. The United States has dialects from the West coast to the East coast. In Boston, there are two forms of dialects that have risen through its city streets[such as?  why are they important?]. Dialects are forming all over the country and causing problems in our society [if they're a part of the growth of society, how can they be part of the problem?  for that, we'd have to prescribe standards, which would, according to your previous argument, not only halt the growth of society, but kill the language itself--that's one of the reasons Latin died]. Parents pick up dialects and then pass them on to their children and so on down the line. This keeps occur[r]ing from generation to generation making it harder and harder to overcome. Dialects interfere the relative with the absolute [clarify]. If parents continue to pick up on these dialects today the children of tomorrow will continue to pick up on these, creating a cliche [eh?] in the English language. [why is this bad? what can be done to stop it from happening?  do we want to? can we?]

There have been many changes in the history of the English language, thus, changing from generation to generation of many families. Language cannot be taught properly if it is constantly changing. Jonathan Swift once said to the Earl of Oxford that:

                Our language is extremely imperfect; that its daily improvements are by
                no means in proportion to its daily corruptions; that the pretenders to polish
                and refine it have chiefly multiplied abuses and absurdities; and that in ma[n]y
                instances it offends against every part of grammar. (David [lose the first name and the 'pg.'] Crystal pg.103)

Now that the English language has a set grammar [insert a comma--didn't you just say that the grammar wasn't set, but that it was in a constant state of flux?] people are becoming more fluent speakers. The majority of these people are in the Modern English period [that would be us?  so, is there a minority of these people still living in the earlier ages? clarify]. Since language is the key to society today, people are still having trouble becoming fluent speakers do [spelling] to the practicalities in grammar and pronunciation. Cultures cannot deal with the many Arights@ and Awrongs@ [eh?] in the English language. [in what way can't they?  haven't they been?]

While school systems are trying to teach children the English language, they are merely doing an average job. English is the most important subject in school systems today. How long is it taught in a day? [reword this question into a statement that strengthens and advances your point, not one that halts it--aren't all classes taught IN English?] Not long enough. One hour of teaching a day[fragment]; children are not exposed to the subject enough. Therefore, children are exposed to more wrongs [you still haven't sufficiently explored this idea of why dialect is incorrect] than rights. Since they are only in the subject once a day[insert a comma] it is hard for the rights to overcome the wrongs. Children are around their parent and their peers the majority of the time, [insert a semicolon] thus, [this leads, not leading] leading to bad speaking habits that they learn from their environment [if that's what everyone else is speaking, even, to follow your logic, their teachers, why not?]. Being that these children are around their parents most of the time, it would be safe to say that they learn their language from them [bring it back to the school, to the idea you introduced the paragraph with, why is it important to the thesis that teachers are doing only an average job?   Isn't it as much the responsibility of the student to learn as it is the teacher to teach?].

Another point that explains that language is brought up through a families generation is their cultural background. Depending on if they are of the Italian or German background, the [who?] will both have different languages because its two different cultures. [develop this idea beyond two sentences--you've just crossed the bridge between Americans who speak English differently from one another, and foreignors who speak English differently from Americans--how are the foreignors different?  in what way are these differences reconcilable or irreconcilable?]

Just as our bodies contain genes of our ancestors, so do our words and ideas that are rooted in the lives that come before us. Language is an acquisition from one[insert an apostrophe--actually, I don't think this phrase works at all]s human species that has resurrected during the course of their families[is this singular possessive or plural possessive?] evolutionary history. There are facts to back this idea up and they are as follows: dialects, parents, and school systems[lose the list--never summarize or repeat your associated ideas in your conclusion--focus on the impact this issue is having or will have on society]. All of these stand by the fact that language is brought up through one[insert an apostrophe]s family ancestors and their cultural background. Many people do not realize that they received their given language from their own family history, because they think the English language is set to just one background[why is that important?--should we be more sociolinguistically aware?   how and why?]. In conclusion, people derive their language from their families ancestors, and cultural deviances. [don't repeat your thesis, tell me why it's important]

 Bibliography [I need the rest of the citations fleshed out correctly (i.e. don't underline an article title) and I need the annotations on each of these--how was each helpful to your thesis?]